Wolves Don't Cry
by santander16
Summary: What Jake does immediately following the scene in which he tells Bella he can't be her friend anymore in New Moon . One-shot.


I slammed the door behind me and sunk to the ground – I couldn't even make it to the kitchen or the living room or something. I curled my fingers into fists, trying _so_ hard not to lose it – Emily would kill me if I punched a hole in her wall. But I had to hit something, and Bella was still outside, so the plentiful trees were not an option. If I'd had hair longer than my freaking fingernails I would have grabbed fistfuls and yanked it out in a second. So, maybe the haircut was more than just wolf convenience.

Growling fiercely, I slammed my fists down on my knees, bent up in front of me – and almost screamed in pain as I felt something snap out of place. Snarling and swearing wildly, I sprung to my feet – and collapsed against the door with a loud bang as my damaged knees tried and failed to support my weight. I slid down to the ground again, keeping up a stream of curses and holding my fists so tightly I felt my nails break the skin.

And then there they were – Sam, Paul, Jared, and Embry, silently appearing before me.

"Did you do it?" Sam asked. I looked up at him, barely able to contain the moans of agony rising in my chest from my stupid dislodged kneecaps.

"Yeah. She won't be coming back here," I ground out.

"Good," he said, staring down at me for a minute more. "And you controlled yourself?"

"I didn't explode into a freaking wolf in front of her, if that's what you mean," I hissed. My hands were dripping blood onto the hardwood floor. I couldn't have cared less.

"But did you see how hard it was? How hard to not give in?" I stared up at him, refusing to answer. Behind him, Paul and Jared's faces held identical frowns. Embry's face was more forgiving. He looked like he was in pain, too. "Now you know. Now you know why she can't know, and why she can't come back, and why you can't go to her. You know why your friendship with her is over, forever." He stared at me a minute more. I wished he would go – wished they would all go – so I could just break down like I wanted to.

Sam's frown broke for a second, and I saw the pity there. But I didn't want his pity.

"Jared, Paul, it's your shift. I'm going to the Clearwaters' to talk to Harry. Emily's not going to be home until tonight, but stay as long as you like, Embry. And Jake – clean up the blood on the floor, man." With that, Sam, Jared, and Paul swept down the hall and out the back door. Embry stood there, looking like he didn't quite know what to say.

"Jake – " he began, but stopped himself. He bit his lip.

"Just go," I muttered.

"I'm okay," he replied, crossing his arms.

"But I'm not."

"Maybe that's why I'm staying." I let my hands fold over my bent knees, still curled into dripping fists, and knocked my head against my arms. The searing pain in both knees made me swear again.

"What'd you do?" Embry whispered, squatting down in front of me.

"Hit my knees."

"And?"

"They're both dislocated, I think," I ground out, barely able to get the words out before clamping my jaw shut again. Wolves didn't cry.

"Let me pop them back in or something, man," Embry suggested, frowning.

"Later."

"What, you're a masochist now?"

"It hurts less this way."

"Aw, Jake." With hands that could kill, he slowly pulled my arms off my knees. "This is gonna hurt," he warned before grabbing both my ankles and pulling forcefully on my legs. My kneecaps snapped back into place audibly. I swore loudly, fingers digging further into my ravaged palms.

"There you go. Good as knew," he muttered, staring at his hands. He stood.

"Go home. Sleep it off. You'll be okay, Jake. She's just a girl. We're your brothers. Your pack. We… I've got your back, man," he mumbled. I looked up at him, focusing on not crying, not breathing, not cursing, not _screaming_.

"Thanks." My voice was husky, and Embry looked away for a moment, standing there, before turning and walking down the hall. The second I heard the door close, I felt the air shimmer. He'd phased, probably to report to Sam that I was completely broken. Done. I'd probably just die here in Sam's house. So much for cleaning up the blood. They'd drag me down to my dad's house, let everyone come and look. See? This is what happens to pack members that can't do what they're told. They're forced to. This is what happens to those who love who they shouldn't. This is what happens when you go outside the pack, when you dare to love someone who once loved… _them_.

Wolves didn't cry.

But I wasn't a wolf. I was a boy, crumpled on the ground, a girl on my mind and my own blood on my hands.

And I let my head sink into my hands as I cried.


End file.
